Haufler & HershkowitzPracticalities

  • Venue of sessions: either in the 1st or 19th district; see map under “Where?”
  • Frequency of sessions: two weeks up to variable.
  • Specific homework to be done between sessions.
  • Fee: discussed at the 1st session.

I invite you to come meet us to start the journey of rekindling your relationship.

What typical problems do couples who consult us have?

  • very different basic attitudes regarding many aspects of daily life
  • infidelity and affairs, known or not to the other partner
  • frequent flare-ups of jealousy
  • frequent, exhausting arguments tending more and more to violence
  • an atmosphere of emptiness and boredom, with loss of sexual desire and functioning solely as parental couple and no longer as lovers
  • conflicts about spending or saving money
  • a dificult relationship of a partner with his/her in-laws
  • burn-out at work of one of the partners
  • overreaction by one partner to small bothers, sometimes due to an unrecognized post-traumatic stress syndrome
  • depression can be a consequence of burnout or post-traumatic stress

Quarreling all the time in your relationship?

Fighting is necessary. But it should – sometimes – be constructive and fair. Otherwise you will both close down too strongly. In sessions, we can check how various ways of arguing affect each partner an then set up specifiv behavior changes. To succeed in changing, one partner needs support and empathy from the other partner; empathy-building is blended into the process of changing a hurtful behavior.

Won’t the problems go away by themselves?

Durable, reliable improvement will not come out of thin air or by „hoping“. Also, the pattern of problems and the way each contributes to it has a meaning. Figuring this out together in sessions helps to grow personally and to grow your love. Has your relationship become boring, empty? If you are engaged in too many activities outside the couple, you may have „exited“ from the living core of your relationship, and this empty feeling develops. Typical „exits“: to much smartphone / PC / fitness club / sport; constant, pervasive focus on the children; overwork at the office; a „casual fling“ with someone. The core energy of the couple then becomes too low for supporting a deep, nourishing contact. Working on concretely closing some „exits“ can help.

Often money issues in your couple?

Might they be one of the fuels of a sort of „power struggle“ in your couple? We look into these disagreements, and see where they come from and how they can be resolved.

You will learn the Imago Dialogue together in sessions. The design of this communication tool ensures the safety needed for dealing with your touchiest issues without blow-ups. using it at home brings the couple to spend much-needed quality time together.

Your partner has an affair?

Stay or leave? Just 2 options in a dilemma, a better life starts at 3 options. A 3rd one could be invest in learning the best ways of speaking to each other about the feelings brought to the fore – with each learning a lot, whatever the final outcome.

Wouldn’t the simplest be to split up and start over again with a more compatible partner?

Compatibility does not come from a static set of „complementary“ traits, tastes, etc. It depends on the emotional „wounds“, gross or subtle, in each partner’s past and how you are still affected by them in the present. Past wounding gets built into your „character“, which comes along with you to the next relationships.